Love and Stuff

Love and Stuff
Photo from http:www.flickr.com

This week brings everyone’s favorite holiday…or perhaps a day that reminds us of that which we lack in our lives. Valentines Day, a day to celebrate love and  of course; chocolate and flowers. And for those of you who have romantic love to celebrate this year, may that love reflect your own abundance and wholeness.

I am finding myself wrestling with faith and self-compassion. As I continue my quest to become more of who authentically I am at my core, I realize I must let go of a lot.  That has included several serious relationships with people I still love. It is very humbling, and at times disheartening.

I had a conversation with a client I coach last week who had just finished her graduate degree and then quit smoking. She had felt proud she gave herself ample time to make those transitions without rushing herself.  I replied that I felt perhaps that is the hardest job there is to find a healthy balance of self-compassion. To be able to fall apart on yourself when you need, and also pick yourself when it’s time to stand. To give yourself the unconditional love and acceptance we all need. She agreed.

This task is so challenging that there is now a job dedicated to just loving people. Two friends of mine informed me this week there was a news story about “professional cuddlers.” It is the new therapy, forget talking or giving advice, we just need another persons presence. We just need to not feel alone.

I believe as much as we need other humans to heal, it is also important to hear our own loving voice. I need to hear mine today. As I am distracted by my current state of despair, I am going to channel my wiser, bigger self. I hope by sharing mine, you may explore within your own dimensions to hear the loving voice within yourself.

Oh dear you look exhausted. Your eyes have lost their shine. Where are you in a rush to go and why oh why, are you carrying around that bag of bricks with you? There is no magical place where life stops changing and those you love cease suffering. You need only to be here now with the wholeness that you are. The love and acceptance you seek is all around you, all the time, if you look for it. I assure you, whatever you look for, you will find.

Try to remain open to seeing life happening for you. You  may not see it now, but when you look back, you will see every event is an opportunity teaching you to be more of who you really are. And on the days that you get stuck in self-pity and eat a gallon of ice cream, forgive yourself. Life is too short to wallow, but give yourself permission to be human.

Love your despair, because despair is part of life. Love your struggle, because you do not struggle alone. Love your loneliness because you will have compassion for others. Most importantly, stop dwelling and try to  make sense of all this. Go have some fun.  Laughter really is the best medicine.

Listen to your body, listen to your heart. You mind may play tricks on you, but your body and your heart do not lie. Your intuition is with you all the time.

This time where nothing makes sense and you feel scattered is part of the journey. We rarely know what is best for us, so don’t waste precious energy trying to figure it out. You can’t go back and re-do any moments in your life, so settle in. Have faith that pain or joy, this too will help you learn to be more loving.

Trust that life is unfolding in perfect timing. Let yourself breakdown when you feel scared and lost, then surrender and let go more. Be gentle and patient with yourself. And stop telling yourself that crap about other people holding you back, you must always be the creator of your story. This is your life and now is the moment to pour all your energy and love into. Now is enough.

  • Heidi B.

    “This time where nothing makes sense and you feel scattered is part of the journey.” I love this phrase. It makes forces me to remember that even the scattered parts are part of the wholeness of life.

  • John Owen

    “This is your life and now is the moment….” “This is the day that the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalms