To be or not to be…..

To be or not to be…..

“When grapes combine their juice and are closed up together for a time in a dark place, the results are spectacular. This is what lets two drunks meet so that they don’t know who is who.”


I’m confused. Scratch that, I’m a mess, bare with me. I observe human behavior… A LOT. I have a tendency to get lost in it actually. Here is what I notice:

We spend so much energy on trying to be seen, trying to be important, needing to be heard. It’s an exhausting ploy, yet we seem unfulfilled. We are desperate to attain something, something that will make us completely feel safe, if just for a breath.

Yet, is it working? Do we attain the feeling we desire by piling on more layers that separate us from others? Is it possible that we are seeking disappearing during theses times? A deep relaxation into what is, a connectedness with everything . A break from the burden of our specialness that allows us to blend in from time to time

Do we not desire for a brief moment to let go of the stories about ourselves and drop into something bigger….deeper…more expansive than the boundaries of our physical bodies?


Perhaps this is one of the toughest battles of the human experience. We crave both.  Familiarity and stability competiting with the soulful urge to let go and become part of the mystery. I believe it’s a juggling act we all have to resolve within the depth of our souls. It’s tough. Pardon me, some days it fucking sucks.

Yet, I’m not alone. We are in this shit together. Even in states of despair and loneliness, when we drop deep into it, are we not connected to all others who experience states of loneliness? Aren’t we always surrounding by that which is congruent with ourselves? It’s ironic, but it is quite beautiful isn’t it?

One of my mentor’s words linger, “Let’s not spoil it with an answer.”

Perhaps this is what is meant by the spiritual teaching, “seek and ye shall find.” Balance….seek and ye shall find, because in life is it really about the destination…isn’t the seeking…Enough?



  • Heidi B.

    a beautiful mess, you might say.

  • genokearney

    Well said. But circumstances unfortunately often trump love. Tell “Unknown” that the time of physical death need not be uncertain. My heart has a toe tag. My body soon …… enough.

    Walls and Bridges
    Bridges and streams
    Is it Love?
    Or is it a dream
    We look and we seek
    We seek and we find
    We find the truth
    That love can be blind
    But could it be blind
    Or just unexposed
    Or could it be
    Our eyes are just closed
    Open your eyes