The Space Between
I’ve been questioning my ideas about resilency and self-reliance lately. I have this, perhaps rigid view that I have to be self-reliant/independent to be resilient. That I always have to depend on myself. You know the lingo, we all have to save ourselves. And while my heart does feels truth in that, I also think I can get… a bit rigid when I use that as a way to separate from others instead of connect. When I build a wall and not a bridge. Lately it’s felt like the walls that help me be self-reliant and dependable, might also be keeping out the support all around.
I had my questions reflected from a mirroring loved one recently. I was desparately trying to help this person I love complete a project. This loved one is strong, independent, a doer if you will. I admire her grit and do it power, immensely. Yet, when trying to help achieve a common goal, I couldn’t seem to get in. It hurt. I felt powerless. She was relying on herself to get the job done, and I was right there, but I couldn’t…get in. She couldn’t see me, couldn’t feel me. There was no…space between for me.
Hm… I noticed, if we don’t leave space, between thoughts in our mind, spaces in our hearts, how can anyone get in? When we move so fast we don’t wait for others, are we always leaving people behind? Will we not always feel alone if we’ve barricaded, the space between? Dave Matthews has a point in The Space Between….
The space between what’s wrong and right
Is where you’ll find me hiding, waiting for you
The space between your heart and mine
Is the space we’ll fill with time
The space between
The space between
When I’m tuned in, I notice when I hold the belief that I must always be independent, I feel my jaw tighten, my hands clinch, and my heart get a bit…callous. Woops, that’s not opening to life. Maybe being resilient has more to do with a basic trust in the interconnedtess of things combined with some openness to allow it.
I don’t know. But I like how the not knowing, makes it vital I pay attention to each moment as it arises. And how trust, allows for space. I adore how even the smidgen of space keeps me accountable to being present in this moment so I don’t drift ashore, and miss it. It’s quite the…investigation and I’m growing quite found of the discoveries.
So cheers, to the space between, to trusting what comes in…and to embracing the mystery as it unfolds.