Not Your Job

Not Your Job

This week I came across a poem by a writer named Caitlyn Siehl titled “Not your job” and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. It speaks for itself and so I am just going to just leave it here. For you, and also for me, because I’m going to need to reference it again and again in the future. I take it to heart for the obvious reason that I have a daughter, but I also take it to heart because I am also myself a daughter, and reading it provokes a warm, tight sensation in my throat when I read it to my own inner child.



“when your little girl

asks you if she’s pretty

your heart will drop like a wineglass

on the hardwood floor

part of you will want to say

of course you are, don’t ever question it

and the other part

the part that is clawing at


will want to grab her by her shoulders

look straight into the wells of

her eyes until they echo back to you

and say

you do not have to be if you don’t want to

it is not your job

both will feel right

one will feel better

she will only understand the first

when she wants to cut her hair off

or wear her brother’s clothes

you will feel the words in your

mouth like marbles

you do not have to be pretty if you don’t want to

it is not your job”